I hate getting free fabric.* It’s the pits.** Especially when it’s fabric that’s totally cute and adorable like ‘Sweet Orchard’, with all its cute little bluebirds and fresh, delicious-looking fruit and lively, happy colours. Sheesh. I absolutely HATE fabric that’s cute like that.*** It’s so bright and cheery, and I’m like ‘Get outta my fabric cupboard you perfectly folded and tied fat quarter bundle, you’re making my stash look good!’.****
I mean, like I’m ever going to want to make anything as awesome as Peta’s quilt. I mean, it’s so…. sweet. And…. orchard-y, with that gorgeous quilting that looks like little fruit tree blossoms…
And then there’s Nadra’s cushion. I mean, cuteness overload. Vomit. Puke. Gag. Totally hate it all with its perfectly fussy-cut squares.
Ugh, and what about these darling little pinwheels Sarah made..? Ow, they’re hurting my eyes. The sweetness, it’s killing me! Someone do something!
And personalised snack mats?? I mean, c’mon Stacy, why does everything have to be so good??? You’re making this hating job so hard!
Oh, of course there would have to be some amazing colour contrasting thrown in, just to really make life difficult for me. I mean, red and aqua, Lisa?? It’s just so right, it’s wrong! SURELY it has to be illegal. Somebody call the sewing police already. *****
That’s it, I’ve had it. I’m so over awesome fabric that you can make beautiful stuff out of.****** I’m giving it away.*******
Finally, please, no one ever send me awesome fabric EVER again.********
* I totally don’t.
** No, it’s not.
*** Nope, I actually don’t.
**** As if I’d say that.
***** This Oscar the Grouch gig is really exhausting. Is this post nearly over?
****** Definitely will never ever happen.
******* This bit is actually true.
******** Please don’t stop sending me free fabric. I love free fabric. Truly I do!
GIVEAWAY! (NOW CLOSED!)
If you hate amazing fabric and would be so disappointed to win a fat quarter bundle of Sweet Orchard as much as I would make sure you DO NOT enter this giveaway, because if you do enter and win it then you’ll just have to give it away too because it will make your stash look good and you just can’t risk being tempted to make really awesome things out of it. Total waste of time. BUT, if for some reason you do still enter the giveaway then be sure to leave a comment and tell me exactly what fantastic things you would make from Sweet Orchard if you were being forced to. The giveaway is open WORLDWIDE until 8pm, Wednesday, 31 August (Australian Eastern Standard Time). The winner will be notified by email (if supplied) and announced on this post. Good luck! (I think?)
The winner of this fabulous FQ bundle of Down Grapevine Lane’s ‘Sweet Orchard’ fabric line is…
… who said: Oh it’s so sweet would make the cutest ruffle butt, and mini fairy wings ?